May 18

How To Set Up Your iPhone Reminders

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Technology

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In today’s post I’m going to show how to get the most out of your iPhone reminders. Timed reminders never really work for me because I can never predict where I am going to be and at what time. That’s why I love iPhone’s reminders. It uses your GPS location and can remind you when you are near a place to do something. One thing I tend to always forget is to pick up dog food on my way home. So that’s going to be the example for today. If any of you know Miss Tea Tea, you know she is not one to mess with. If she is unhappy, then we all are unhappy.

This may seem like a lot of steps, but it is way quicker than getting home and realizing that you need to go back to the store. Follow my yellow clues in my pics.

First thing you’re going to do is to put Petco in your contact list. make sure you put in the address. The easiest way to do that is to go to maps and search for Petco. Press the little blue arrow like in picture below and then add to contacts. Yay!

Go into reminders and create reminder Dog Food. After you create it, click on it.

Now we’re going to click on Remind me

Switch “At a Location” to “ON’, Check “When I Arrive”, and then press Current Location.

Press Choose Address 

Now just scroll and select Petco 

Now verify everything is correct and then click done. 

I know it seems like a lot of steps but it takes less than a minute and is well worth it. It’ll ring when I am about 2 blocks away from Petco which gives me ample time to signal, slow, and turn. Miss Tea Tea is a happy girl and that is a relief!

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May 17

Ready To Go Lighter For Summer? Do This First.

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Hair, Men, Women

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So it’s that time of year again. Where everyone is getting ready to rock out for the summer. Whether you’re staying home, traveling abroad, or planning a fabulous summer in the Hamptons, everyone wants to look summery, fresh, and new. Whenever my clients want to change their color, even if it’s not drastic, I recommend they do a treatment a few days before their color. My favorite treatment, at the moment is the Shu Uemura Moisture Velvet Nourishing Treatment. It is fantastic! Lightweight, smells great, and really works.

Here’s what you want to do. 3- 4 days, before your color, you want to shampoo your hair. The trick is to leave your shampoo on for 2 minutes, that way your hair is really clean. Rinse. Apply a small amount of Shu Uemura Moisture Velvet Nourishing Treatment, you seriously shouldn’t need more than a dollap the size of a quarter. Work it through your hair starting at midshaft  to your ends. Comb through. Now leave this on for 10 minutes. if you can do longer that would be amazing. Rinse. Style as usual. DO NOT wash your hair until your colorist does. Well their assistant that is cause I ain’t washing your hair.

What most people don’t realize is that dirty hair is so GOOD. 1) Dirty hair has less fly aways, so it’s easier for us to work with and get more precise with your highlights. 2) When color open your cuticle layer your natural oil seeps into the hair giving it the best conditioning treatment ever. 3) Clean or Dry scalp gets really itchy when color is on it.

Now you are ready to go into the salon and get summerized! You can also use Shu Uemura Moisture Velvet Nourishing Treatment post color to really help close that cuticle and lock your color in.

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May 16

Have Carpet? This Is A Must Have.

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Cleaning, Household

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One thing I can’t stand about Los Angeles is that every rental has wall to wall carpet. Usually it is light beige or cream or something else that gets dirty when you fart on it, let alone live on it. Seriously I tried no shoes, no eating, and no drinking on the carpet and the shit still got dirty. The BISSELL Spotbot has made my life way more manageable. OK maybe not my life but at least my carpets are a little better. The thing that is amazing about the The BISSELL Spotbot is you just fill her up with water and BISSELL 2X Pet Stain and Odor Advanced Formula, sit her on the spot, plug her in, and walk away. She’s very set it and forget it. After 3 minutes the The BISSELL Spotbot will beep letting you know she’s done cleaning. It’s that easy. You end up with clean little crop circles. After they dry you just hit them with the vacuum cleaner and tada that spot is gone.

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May 15

Do You Brainstorm In The Shower And Forget It All By Time You Get Out?

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Accessories, Household, Travel

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I do my best thinking as I’m singing in the shower, while giving myself a conditioning treatment. Seriously almost every great idea I had started in the shower but I forget mot of it by time I get dressed. I decided to start looking online for a waterproof iPhone case and came across the SealLine Electronic Case. This thing is amazing. It works just like a ziplock bag. Super easy. I throw my phone into it, push it closed, and hop in the shower. I know, I know I’m sick and addicted to my phone, but seriously now my notepad if full of great and not so great ideas.

I bought SealLine Electronic Case in medium so that way I can also put my wallet into it during pool season. For $25 this little pouch is sure worth it. It’s not bulky or clunky at all and the touch screen is easily accessed through it. A must have item of the season

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May 11

Pre Shampoo, Hair Softening Treatment

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Hair

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Today’s product is Sally Hershberger Keratin Fix. Of course we don’t use it according to directions. Why would we? So what I love to do with Sally Hershberger Keratin Fix is use it as a pre shampoo hair treatment. What I do is brush my hair out, split my hair into two sections (left and right),  put a shit load of this serum into my dry dirty hair l(ike 2-3 pumps for each section, working from midshaft to ends), then I brush and brush again making sure it gets through my hair. I then add more to my ends. I suggest you leave it on for a minimum of 10 minutes. The longer the better. Now shampoo hair and condition as normal. Tada! Your hair is soft and not weighed down.

Another great trick with this is when you go to the beach load your hair up with Sally Hershberger Keratin Fix before heading out of the house. My friend Brandi wears her hair in a braid the last day of her blow out and loads up the braid with Sally Hershberger Keratin Fix. It calms her fly aways, makes it hella shiny, and treats her hair all at the same time.

Great for your little ones too!

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May 10

It’s A Urinal … Not A Garbage Can!

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Courtesy, Men

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I can’t even begin to think what goes on in men’s head at the urinal, nor do I want to. For the ladies who never saw one of these, this is a waterless urinal. This bad boy doesn’t flush or even have a water source, It saves us tons of water a year. Up to 40,000 gallons per urinal. Wow great. But what I don’t get is why to men spit in , and throw trash into it? It is disgusting! I go over to the damn thing and there is always gum and a loogie in this damn thing. What the hell?!?! Stop doing that. Why does our society never think of their fellows? When you are about to spit your gum in there, I want you to think “How would I like to step up to the plate and see this?”  Or better yet think “How would I like to be the guy with rubber gloves on picking up pissed on, chewed gum and trash?” Sure it’s his job, but only by default.

Since I have your urinal attention I think I’ll take it one step further. If you don’t want to hold your dick while peeing then sit your ass down on a toilet. I mean come on, we are grown ass men here, why are you peeing on the floor? I don’t care how big you think your dick is, unless it is sitting into the urinal (which is gross), you need to take your thumb and index finger and hold onto it. It’s like why do we install plumbing in doors when you act like you’re in an outhouse? Next time you’re at the urinal look down and see how many men pee on the floor. It’s ridiculous. Between the gum and pee on the floor I feel like I’m on the streets of India.

Now onto farting at the urinal. Please to not come near me to pee and fart. I’m not your homeboy and it ain’t funny. Farts are for your friends not strangers. Matter fact any noise you make at the urinal is wrong. It creeps me the fuck out when a man stands next to me, starts peeing, moans, and then farts. I mean what the fuck is that? A mating call? I mean really! Stop it! Its awkward and I don’t me fake awkward like those dumb “awkward moment’ posts on Facebook, but real awkward like your ugly boss hitting on you asking you if you want a promotion, and telling you there is something you can do that’ll help put you up for consideration.

I hope everyone has found this post informative. Let’s make the bathroom as pleasant of an experience as we can.

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May 09

Can You Hear Me Now? Maybe It’s Because Of Those Ear Hairs.

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Body, Men

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It has come clear to me now that most people don’t really see things and it is my job to point them out. Today I’m going to address men ear hair. This seems to be a growing epidemic. Thanks goodness it is easy to fix. Follow the link and get your ass a Panasonic Nose And Ear Trimmer. It’s less than $12 and super easy to use. Just turn it on and swirl it around your ears. Ear hair to men as chin hair is to women. If you think your ear hair is not a problem them maybe your wife should stop waxing her face and show you what you look like. It is gross and most of the time when you look into a man’s ear who has hair you can see potatoes growing among the tress. Ewwwwwww! Gross! The great thing about this issue is that a minute every other week is all it takes to rid this problem. With the Panasonic Nose And Ear Trimmer you never have to leave your house. After you trim your ears hit your nose. Transform your life and take your grossness factor down a few notches. Hey we all are getting older each day, but that doesn’t mean we have to lie down and take all the abuse Mother Nature throws at us. Here’s to clean ears! Just say NO to ear potatoes!

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May 08

Rubber Bands In Your Hair?…. Um NO!

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Accessories, Hair

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Recently, like Friday, a very good client of mine came into the salon with a rubber band in her hair. She tried to sneak it out before I saw it and yelled at her, but my assistant ratted her out. This woman heeds all my advice, so when she told me it was a one time thing and she’ll never do it again, I believed her. I’m here to tell you that rubber bands are never good for your hair. Even one time can do a great amount of damage. Rubber bands will pull and rip your hair in no time flat. Sure they hold that hair back tight but then again you can read HERE why you should not be pulling your hair tight. Anyhow if you want to rip and break your hair I will do it for you! At least someone would get some enjoyment out of it versus a rubber band having all the fun. I strongly recommend Scunci No Damage Ponytail Holders. That is the only thing I put in my hair and let’s face it, everyone is jealous of how great my hair looks. That why my husband threatens to cut it off when I am sleeping.

I buy Scunci No Damage Ponytail Holders in bulk, and scatter them throughout my life. A few in the toiletry bag, few in the purse, few in the car, some at work. I feel the more you scatter them the less likely you are to grab for a nasty ass rubber band and ruin your hair.

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May 04

My Take On Leggings.

Categories:

Fashion, Marko's Thoughts, Women

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Let me start off by saying. Sure there are times when I see them and like “WOW! That’s how you do it” But truth be told 99% of the time I say “Does this bitch not own a mirror?” In this post I am going to demonstrate with pictures so you can get the exact visual that everyone else but you sees. Here we go!

So I know when you put them on at home you really feel like Victoria in Picture A but since yours are from American Apparel and you’ve worn them more than once they look like Picture B. Saggy booty is just not cute.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, showing your ass ain’t sexy. It’s whorish. You may think holding out until the third date is going to make him respect you but if your ass is nice enough he’ll put in the time. If he treats you like a hoe after you fuck you may want to come comment on my post and tell all the others I was right. This picture is a perfect example of leggings done wrong. Sorry girl but there ain’t nothing cute about this.

This picture above is what most of you ladies look like. It seems to me that you don’t have a mirror at home, and if you do you do not turn around and look at your ass. I really hope none of you look at this picture and say that looks good, because it does not. Apparently this girl needs to dump these friends in the picture with her, since none of them told her to sit down and hide that ass, or better yet, go home and change.

I don’t know if this woman was going for ugly, and comfortable, or she really thought she was cute standing there in the West Village of NYC with those Ugg boots. But I’m here to let you know it ain’t cute and I really don’t see how something that tight can be comfortable. I hope in showing you these asses you will think of what yours looks like in leggings. Especially your less than perfect ass. Rethink your wardrobe because you never know when a queen with a camera is going to make you famous.

 

 

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May 03

Got A Cold? Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Time For That!

Categories:

Body, Health

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First off I’d like to start by saying I’m sorry that my posts have been a little weak this week. This is why I am posting this post. I’ve been feeling a little less than under the weather. I have a great cold regimen that knocks it our fairly quickly. So I wanted to run through the cycle and post this when I was finished. Apparently this regimen takes 3 to 4 days to cycle the cold through, but it does work.

Zinc can used for boosting the immune system, treating the common cold and recurrent ear infections, and preventing lower respiratory infections. I take one tablet with every meal. If you do not take Zinc with food, you will get nauseous, dizzy, and vomit. I found out the hard way, and by the hard way I mean in public with full on laying down on the floor after I threw up on the streets on Manhattan. You wanna talk about not cute? The feeling was excruciating and something I never want to experience again

Traditional Medicinals Teas: I can not drink enough of these babies. I rotate between Traditional Medicinals Gypsy Cold Care, and Traditional Medicinals Throat Coat (Original, not lemon), which is my absolute favorite tea. Traditional Medicinals Throat Coat has slippery elm bark ,which soothes the throat, and has a sweet taste. You won’t believe how good it is, but you must get the original flavor. The lemon one tastes like the after math of taking Zinc without food. Disgusting!

I also recommend eating a lot of clear soups, such as chicken, and matzoh ball. Feel better.

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