Help Airport Security Move Along

Remember when traveling was actually fun? We used to be able to just roll up to the airport, get on the plane, and go. Well times have changed and the faster you accept that the faster we will all move on. I travel pretty often and discovered a ton of ways to speed things up. Here are a few tips to get through the TSA line smoothly.

1)   Wear shoes that you can easily slip on and off. We’ve had to take our shoes off since 2001 so don’t try it. People act like they don’t know this and it literally slows TSA down by hours each day.

2)   Make sure you have a valid ID before you book your flight. Don’t hold up the line trying to travel with an expired license or passport. You ain’t getting on and will only hold the rest of us up.

3)   No liquid over 3oz means just that. We don’t want to hear how expensive a bottle of water is in the airport. Do you know how expensive my time is that you are wasting trying to be special and get your Dizani through the gate? Throw the shit out and move on

4)   Don’t wear a fierce updo with a million bobby pins in your hair. It will set off the metal detector and once again slowing us down. Please read my ponytail post HERE.

5)   Your jewelry. Sure kisses begin with Kay’s but your gold-plated Kmart will beep so take it off and put it in the bin.

6)   If you have a bag with you, while you are in line, put the items in your pockets into your bag. That will save time when you approach the security checkpoint.

7)   Laptop goes into it’s own bin. Matter fact, you have a laptop; you should check the list of rules from TSA.com before you head to the airport.

8)   When they say jackets and hoodies go into the bin they do mean yours too. Once again don’t try it!

9)   DO NOT put your shoes in a bin. A) It’s not necessary B) People put their coats, hoodies, bags, and kid’s stuffed animals in there and trust nobody wants what you have under your shoes on their personal items. Would you want your child putting a shoe in their mouth? Well that’s what their stuff animal is now.

10)                  After you walk through the metal detector collect your items, walk to the bench, and get redressed there. Making everyone wait for you to put your belt and shoes on will slow us down. I, personally, do not wear a belt during travel day just to speed things up.


I know it seems like a lot but once you get the hang of it, airport travel will go much smoother and just maybe slightly less undesirable.