Oh no! My phone got wet!


So last week something horrible happened. After going number 3 in the toilet (use your imagination), I dropped my phone in it. It was disgusting, but being that my phone is my life and I have ninja like reflexes, I stuck my hand in and rescued Miss iPhone. I was faster than Neo from the Matrix. I then gagged a little thinking about what I had just done, and started to freak out a bit. So I took the phone to the sink and washed it with Dr. Bronner’s soap and water. I was ready to have to buy a new phone, but who cares! It is way better than smelling poo when talking on the phone. After washing the phone, I wanted to immediately put it in a ziplock bag of uncooked rice. Uncooked rice absorbs moisture from inside the phone. But being the good gay that I am, there is no rice in my house and I didn’t feel that quinoa would work as well. So I quickly get into the car and head to 7-11.

I run into 7-11 as if my life depended on it. I think I may have even left the car running. As I entered the store the guy behind the counter had a big smile, and greeted me. Before he could say good morning, I blurted out “I need rice”. I was shocked that they did not carry any. Everyone in LA talks about how amazing 7-11 is. I’ve never found anything I wanted there besides a big ass slurpee! The voice in my head says “Bitch, you need some damn rice”. “Thanks for nothing” i say, as I brisk walk out of the door. Like a mall walker. Off to Ralph’s I go!

Luck would have it, being this is LA at 8:30am, there is a bad car accident and we are being rerouted. Someone was probably eating a bowl of cereal while driving. I shit you not that does happen here. I roll the window down and scream at the officer in his Prius “I NEED RICE!” he just pointed for me to turn left. Great now there is a traffic jam. I just keep thinking that my phone is going to die and I really don’t want to pay full price for a new one since the iPhone 5 will be coming out in a few months, but then the thought of me using my android phone until the new iPhone comes out stresses me out. Thank god I keep a bag of candy in my car. I start nervously eating and feel my ass getting bigger by the minute. Now I’m stressed and fat, GREAT! The good news is after all the candy and inner turmoil I pull up to Ralph’s and didn’t even realize it took me over 30 minutes to go a mile and a half.

I grab my ziplock bag, iPhone, and run into the market. You would have thought I was on Super Market Sweep. I ran through that store as if someone kidnapped my unborn child and was hiding in the rice aisle. OMG! there are 30 types of rice and I actually caught myself reading the package and thinking if I would eat it. I then say to myself “Stop fagging out, it’s a “shitty’ phone, not a dinner party.” I grabbed a bag of white rice. ripped it open, poured it in the ziplock and dropped in Miss iPhone. Whew! Relief and calm washed over me. I get in line to pay and feel I am going to be judged as the cashier rings up an empty bag of rice. She looks at me smiles and says “It really does work” and looks at my phone in the bag of rice. “Fingers Crossed” I respond as I wish her a good day and leave.

I kept the “bag o phone” in a warm (not hot) place to make sure the rice absorbs the water. Left it in the rice for about 12 hours. I also rotated the phone every hour to make sure the moisture was moving around. Afterwards I took a little rubbing alcohol on a Q-tip to clean the connectors where it plugs in to charge. I am happy to say that my phone is working as if nothing happened.


Recap: Get phone out of toilet. Place phone in ziplock bag of uncooked rice. Keep in a warm dry place. Rotate phone hourly. Let it stay in the bag of rice for 12 hours. Clean connectors with Q-tip and rubbing alcohol.

1 comment

  1. Bob McAleavy

    Thanx Marko! For the tip and a few good laughs… ;-)

Comments have been disabled.